So… I am still getting the hang of this blog thing and to be honest, I don’t think I am very good at it and I’m not sure if I ever will be – but I will keep trying. I have to force myself to not be so analytical and just write. I want to write how I speak. My goal is to be witty and entertaining and…. ME. Inevitably I want to write like your Aunty Merl, cause her blog is great and I can hear her speaking when I read it.

Anyways, it’s no secret that I have a horrible memory and that is why I initially started keeping a journal and scrapbooking our life memories. We do so many great things and I can’t imagine not remembering all of those big and small events. I started journaling during my pregnancy with Ella. I can honestly say it was the first time I had EVER kept a journal – (I wasn’t your average teenage girl). Soo many funny and ironic things happened when I was pregnant and when I would tell the stories people would ask if I had been writing it all down to share with Ella someday. Alas, the journal began.

Not only did I write about the funny stories that had occurred but I also wrote about how I was feeling, both emotionally and physically – I gained 40 lbs. while prego! Please see exhibit A —->

Once Ella was born, making the time to write – in between a colicky baby, pumping to breastfeed, not eating…or sleeping, doctors appointments, etc – was MUCH more difficult. My last journal entry was right before I started this blog – so I filled almost 2 years worth of handwritten entries (I am proud). I then decided to start this blog in place of journaling – however I have since decided that I will probably still write, at least once a month. I think/hope someday having my handwritten letters to you will mean something – they better cause it’s hurt my hand to write that much, what did we do without computers before?

Having a bad memory was only part of the reason I started to journal/blog/scrapbook. When we first found out we were unexpectedly expecting we were nervous, scared and unsure of our impending future. Then we had our first ultrasound – which changed EVERYTHING. Even at 22 weeks pregnant, the doctors were able to see that Ella had a cleft lip. After further tests we found out that she had a cleft lip AND palate. The journal allowed me the space to express how I was really feeling when it wasn’t acceptable to share my thoughts with others. It was okay to write about how we were (unmarried) parents with no idea on how to raise a child, or scared for peoples reactions to our daughter, or how nervous I was about sending my baby into surgery, etc.

To be continued……Ella’s Journey

The weather is starting to turn in our direction and I think Spring is finally here! I almost don’t want to talk about how excited I am because it will probably snow tomorrow.
We are really enjoying our extra time outside. You love the warm weather and insist on going for walks every day. Your red wagon sits right outside the garage door so every time we get out of the car to go in the house you basically dive out of our arms to get in. We usually oblige you. Of course Midge is very happy to go on walks, Narley on the other hand is forced. He may resist so much because you are the one who holds his (retractable) leash and most of the time you are tugging on him or you decide to just let go and the leash flies back at him.
Tonight when I picked you up from daycare you and I went down the big slide a few times on the playground and you loved it! We hope to get your swing set all set up in the backyard soon so that you can swing and go down the slide to your hearts delight.
Here are a few snaps from our time outside yesterday.

At the end of this long day I decided to check through my personal email, where I discovered an email about, “How does your toddler grab your attention?” Since Ella almost drowned yesterday and decided to make today almost as unbearable with her temper tantrums, I decided it would be a good idea to read on, maybe it would offer me some tips on how to handle this “phase”- fingers crossed.

After reading a few articles it all boils down to this, she’s moving to grandma and grandpas! Just kidding. In all seriousness, everything talks about frustration and the importance of me remaining calm. So Ella – if you are reading….. I have a deal for you – I will work on my patience level and you work on cutting me some slack once in a while. If you cooperate, I will continue to feed you
Love Mommy

Tonight my (our) friend Leanne asked if I had blogged anything new since YESTERDAY – to which I replied, “I have nothing to say, nothing has happened.” She went on to tell me that I would eventually feel more comfortable writing about every day occurrences versus needing an “event” in order to write. Then I realized that she is always asking me if you are doing anything new and usually since life is chaotic, I reply with, “No – not really.” But – if I actually take the time to think about it, you do new things every day that are worth mentioning.
Lately you have been a little pistol for me (not your dad, of course) and last night you almost drowned in the bath tub due to one of your tantrums. Apparently you felt it was time to get out of the tub, right in the middle of washing your hair – so of course my hands were covered in soap and you were extremely slippery. I tried to control you and remain calm while you thrashed around as if you were riding a bull and I eventually had to call your dad in to help control you and get your hair rinsed. Needless to say, I was a bit frustrated with you and you are lucky that you didn’t accidentally/deliberately drown.
Here is the latest tantrum picture caught in action. We get things like this so that we can use them later in life as blackmail.

You are also just beginning to experience a new emotion – sadness. When something happens that doesn’t go your way you simply hang your head, stick out your lip and pout. It’s so darn cute – we will have to try to catch it on video for you to see someday.
Speaking of video – here is a Video from today playing on the slide when we got home from daycare. That laugh is the most AMAZING sound in the world.

Thank you for making our days so much brighter. We love you.

This is my first personal blog post, which will be dedicated to writing about the balancing act of life as a mom, with a full-time career, a side business and three crazy animals. Ella – this will take the place of the journal I have been writing in for the past 2 years, hopefully the fact that it is online will allow me to write more often and will make it more relevant for you someday, if you are interested in reading about our crazy lives. My greatest fear is forgetting all of the great memories we create, so this will be the place I remember them all – in addition to all the scrapbooks of course!