Here We Go Again

I turned 29 on December 15th. I don’t really love birthdays, they have always seemed a bit forced and I hate getting gifts so I could definitely live without them coming every year. Besides, who likes getting older anyways?

This year was a different story. Yes, Joe still ran out at the last minute to get my gift (<--a guitar) but the day started out much more exciting than normal. Ella had been asking for a new baby for quite some time. She would say things like, "Mom - you pick me up from daycare, we get our hair cut and then we go home and make a baby." I'm sure as a teen she will look back on that statement and be very disgusted. After many more hints from Ella around mid-October Joe and I had decided to pull the goalie and longer prevent a baby from joining our chaotic lives, but we also weren’t going to drive ourselves insane trying to get pregnant. Fast forward to December 2011. My co-workers were nicely planning a birthday dinner/drinks in my honor so I thought I better take a test just to be sure. I was convinced I wasn’t pregnant, especially since a month before all signs pointed to pregnancy – and the test was negative. As the clock struck midnight and it officially turned my birthday- I was given the best gift a girl could ask for….a baby! The test was positive. Even though we were “trying” it was still shocking. A mix of so many emotions! Excited to add another baby to our family. Nervous that he/she will be healthy. Anxious for Ella to get past the terrible 3’s so we can all coexist in harmony.

It’s hard to believe I am already halfway through this pregnancy. In exactly one week we find out the gender of the baby and more importantly whether or not he/she has a cleft lip and/or palate. I have tried to not think about March 22nd as much as possible so that the day doesn’t take forever to come and so that I don’t have to worry leading up to it. No matter what happens next week – we are ready.

The first time we met with the perinatologist the experience was really challenging. It felt cold and rushed and the tears streamed down my face as she showed us Ella’s face for the first time. I thought about requesting a different doctor this time around but I recognize that my emotions might have clouded my judgement of her and I think we are more than prepared this time. If the ultrasound does show that this baby has a cleft – we have done it before and can do it again. Of course I want a happy and healthy baby, but there are so many worse things that could happen.

Besides, look at how happy that little girl is!