This past Friday I was lucky enough to spend some time with an old friend who came to meet Will. I was happy he could make the trip since he’s been a big part of Ella’s life from the start – I’m convinced our weekly lunches are one of the few things that kept me alive during my maternity leave.

While in one of our many conversations that twists and turns into tangents, we talked about how grateful I am that Will is such a chill baby. I stated I was going to soak it all up because I was sure he wouldn’t always be this way, especially since he’ll grow up with Ella.

My friend replied with something that really got me thinking. He said, “Unless he just gives up.” He went on to explain that as the younger brother of a sister and a mother who never stopped talking – sometimes he just gave up because he got sick of fighting to get a word in.

I can easily see how Will could be overshadowed by Ella’s large personality and while I greatly value this time where he’s quiet and calm – I want him to have the chance to shine too.

While I was home this weekend and surrounded by family, I was comforted to know that Will should have no problem. Even though there are tons of large personalities within our tight knit group, we all find a way to shine. None of us give up. Family gatherings consist of all of us shouting over one another to be able to speak our piece and while that may seem overwhelming to most, I’d like to believe we’re all stars.

When I named this blog I didn’t intend for my children to actually act like little birds, but it seems that is what’s happened.

My maternity leave has been pretty smooth sailing thus far but as of the past few days my little man has become a bit fussy. We try to console him with his nuk, but from the time he was born he’s been kind of weird with his pacifier and acts like a little bird when we try to give it to him.
Pinpointing the issue has of course not been that easy! It’s no secret that I have struggled with breast feeding, both due to excruciating pain and lack of production. Why don’t people tell you how hard that beautiful, natural bonding might be? Perhaps they realize there is no way you will try if you know going in that your nipples might just fall off (if you’re lucky) during the process.

Since it was so painful to let him feed directly I have been trying to pump and bottle feed exclusively. Initially it was going well but now I’m unable to produce the 4 oz. I need for each feeding. A few feedings I gave him 3 oz. and he acted as if he might eat his own arm. Maybe he’s hungry?

This morning I supplemented with formula for the first time and while it was only 1.5 oz – maybe he’s gassy? I can’t remember the last poopy diaper I changed and typically he’s always dirty. That being said, as I’m writing this – I heard a few toots so maybe the bicycle legs we did earlier helped him to finally work it out.

Parenting is hard, but we must be doing something right because when we went to the two week check up, Will had gained one pound and two inches in a week – weighing in at 9 lb. 3 oz. and 21″ long!

Lets not forget about our other little birdy, Ella – she’s really more of a turkey though! She’s currently with Gma & Gpa Stevenson and her cousins camping. We thought she might miss her little brother too much to go, but she got over that quickly. While we miss her when she’s gone we are also looking forward to the break from her 13-year-old attitude. Lately she has been so sassy that she has completely defeated both of us and our parenting skills.

This past weekend we went to Badger Family Fun Day so she could finally meet one of her favorites – Bucky Badger. She was naughty beforehand and probably shouldn’t have been allowed to go at all, but when we got there she was a pretty good little girl – especially considering we stood in line for an hour and a half to meet Bucky. As soon as we got back to the car to go home, she went right back to being her diva self and when asked if she had a good time responded, “I did not have a good time and I want a new mom and dad.”

She’s 3! If we’re already experiencing her tantrums and slamming doors, what are we in for when she’s actually 13? Pray for us.

August 4th, 2012 marks the day that our family changed forever – as we were blessed to welcome our little boy into the world. At 5:15 a.m. William Robert Leschisin joined our family, weighing in at 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 19 inches long. We are officially a full house; 2 boys, 2 girls, 2 dogs, 1 cat and a fish.

We feel so blessed to be given this new little bundle of joy and more importantly the chance to really enjoy a new baby. Although my labor and delivery was similar to Ella’s, the overall experience has been very different.

I didn’t realize just how different the experiences could be until the moment they laid him on my chest. Everyone tells you about the immediate connection you have and how you’re overcome with sheer joy and sadly we didn’t have that with Ella.

Looking back I think we were just so scared – about becoming parents, an unplanned pregnancy, a baby with special circumstances, etc – that we weren’t able to focus on the beauty of childbirth. They whisked her away to the NICU so fast that we barely had time to even hold her!

With Will there were no worries. For the most part, I didn’t have a pregnancy filled with 3D ultrasounds and stress tests. I didn’t spend 9 months wondering what people would think of my baby and the number of surgeries he’d require.

When they laid him on my chest – I was proud. Proud of myself, proud of our new little man and more importantly proud of the family we had built. I was overcome with emotion. We were lucky enough to get to just lay there with him. No doctors rushing in and out, no whisking away our baby – just us bonding with our little boy and no thoughts of anything else.

To no fault of her own, Ella was a very challenging baby – the cards were stacked against her. She was colicky and her cleft caused her to take in even more air. She cried for 6 straight hours every day. We had a million doctors appointments. I was doing it alone (Joe started a new job 6 days before she was born). We said numerous times that we weren’t sure if we’d be able to handle having more kids. Everyone reassured us that things would be just fine and that children typically are very different from one another and that the second one could be our “easy one.”

Even though Joe & I were convinced we weren’t capable of producing a calm and quiet child – it turns out, so far those people were right. Will has been amazing. He rarely cries, eats well, sleeps well – the model of a perfect baby. Don’t get me wrong, I’m appreciative (that’s an understatement) but I also feel like I’m somehow cheating on Ella.

At the time I thought maybe our experience with Ella was normal (I had just pushed out a watermelon with no drugs) but, now that I have something to compare it to, I feel like both Ella and I were cheated. I love her just the same and have even more respect for all the things she has gone through but I wish that we had that immediate, worry-free time with her. I wish that my maternity leave could have been anything but painful for both of us.

Speaking of Ella, she couldn’t be more proud of her baby brother. We have been pleasantly surprised by her reaction to him! She wants to hold him all the time and help in anyway that she can. Last week she wanted to take him to Show & Tell at daycare, so despite all the germs we obliged. She was so proud and beaming with joy, which made it all worth it for us!

The windows are open, the house is silent and everyone is sleeping.

There are three of us (7 counting pets).

With less than 2 weeks to go in this pregnancy, I just realized – instead of focusing on the negatives of carrying another large human, during the hottest summer on record – I’m going to take the time to revel in the moment. The time for just the three of us is almost over and for better or worse, things will never be the same again!

More importantly,we have decided that we are done having babies so this could be the last time I will ever experience these feelings again. I’m not a typical mom who will go on and on about what a beautiful miracle childbirth is, but I can say that the time you spend carrying the baby is truly something to marvel and a bond that could never be described.

Soon enough I will be the mother of two, trying to juggle dressing Barbie while changing dirty diapers. So for now I will be patient and focus on Ella and the beautiful flower she continues to be.