Today is the biggest day of my pregnancy, with the exception of the day we will deliver. March 22nd marks the halfway point and the day we have our 20-week ultrasound. When most people find out they are pregnant they immediately begin thinking about the gender, what names they like best or how they can decorate the nursery.

When we first found out we were expecting baby #2 all I could think about was how soon we could find out whether or not this baby would have a cleft. I hoped that since my last pregnancy was high-risk that it would mean we would find things out sooner this time around, but no such luck! So since we were forced to wait, I told myself it was no big deal and that we could handle whatever outcome we were given.

In actuality, I feel anxious. I don’t want this baby to have a cleft, but I also feel silly that I would even worry about that. We have proved to be able to handle the cleft-related issues and are definitely capable of doing it again…but, what if it’s something worse?

Back in January I was privileged to attend a Wisconsin Warriors Sled Hockey game and had a blast. A friend of mine’s son plays on the team and invited us to come watch. While sitting in the ice arena I was humbled by how amazing those kids are and I thought about how much more they and their parents go through every single day that most could never imagine. At that moment I felt ridiculous to have focused so much of my thoughts on whether or not this baby would have a cleft. A cleft is no big deal in relation to what those kids deal with on a daily basis. Every parent in that arena, including me is lucky to even be able to have babies!

So today is a big day and yes – I’m anxious but more than anything, I am excited to find out whether or not Ella is going to have a baby sister as she predicts or if we will be the first, in a long time to have a boy and break the long running streak of girls within my family.

In other news – Ella tells me she is “getting bigger and bigger every day so that she can be a big sister.” Yesterday was no exception as she learned how to ride her bike all on her own. Check it out:

I turned 29 on December 15th. I don’t really love birthdays, they have always seemed a bit forced and I hate getting gifts so I could definitely live without them coming every year. Besides, who likes getting older anyways?

This year was a different story. Yes, Joe still ran out at the last minute to get my gift (<--a guitar) but the day started out much more exciting than normal. Ella had been asking for a new baby for quite some time. She would say things like, "Mom - you pick me up from daycare, we get our hair cut and then we go home and make a baby." I'm sure as a teen she will look back on that statement and be very disgusted. After many more hints from Ella around mid-October Joe and I had decided to pull the goalie and longer prevent a baby from joining our chaotic lives, but we also weren’t going to drive ourselves insane trying to get pregnant. Fast forward to December 2011. My co-workers were nicely planning a birthday dinner/drinks in my honor so I thought I better take a test just to be sure. I was convinced I wasn’t pregnant, especially since a month before all signs pointed to pregnancy – and the test was negative. As the clock struck midnight and it officially turned my birthday- I was given the best gift a girl could ask for….a baby! The test was positive. Even though we were “trying” it was still shocking. A mix of so many emotions! Excited to add another baby to our family. Nervous that he/she will be healthy. Anxious for Ella to get past the terrible 3’s so we can all coexist in harmony.

It’s hard to believe I am already halfway through this pregnancy. In exactly one week we find out the gender of the baby and more importantly whether or not he/she has a cleft lip and/or palate. I have tried to not think about March 22nd as much as possible so that the day doesn’t take forever to come and so that I don’t have to worry leading up to it. No matter what happens next week – we are ready.

The first time we met with the perinatologist the experience was really challenging. It felt cold and rushed and the tears streamed down my face as she showed us Ella’s face for the first time. I thought about requesting a different doctor this time around but I recognize that my emotions might have clouded my judgement of her and I think we are more than prepared this time. If the ultrasound does show that this baby has a cleft – we have done it before and can do it again. Of course I want a happy and healthy baby, but there are so many worse things that could happen.

Besides, look at how happy that little girl is!

Kids say the darndest things, don’t they? I know my kid definitely has some doozies but up until now she miraculously NEVER repeated “naughty” words.

For those of you who know me, you know that I’m bit of a potty mouth – and I like it. In the past I could say things like, “Shit, I stubbed my toe!” and Ella would say, “You ok mommy? You hurt your toe?” Glorious. Swearword-free and compassionate!

However I did start out by saying “up until now.” This past weekend Ella was being naughty, which is not new, and I finally flipped and said, “You better knock it off right now before I spank your little ass!” She looked at me with a smirk on her face and proceeded to say, “Oooh, you want to spank my ass?” Envision this as she is shoving her bottom in my face and spanking her own butt. I was a bit shocked, but mostly trying not to laugh. She repeated it again as she bounced closer to me, her hand still swatting her hiney. I immediately scolded, “You do NOT say that again. Her response – “Why, you not want to spank my ass now?”

So that’s over now. No more swearing and censorship is the motto of our house. It’s going to be quite challenging for us, but on the bright side she doesn’t say the words unprompted, only repeats them. I guess this just means it’s all our fault if she continues. Dammit!