August 4th, 2012 marks the day that our family changed forever – as we were blessed to welcome our little boy into the world. At 5:15 a.m. William Robert Leschisin joined our family, weighing in at 8 lbs. 2 oz. and 19 inches long. We are officially a full house; 2 boys, 2 girls, 2 dogs, 1 cat and a fish.
We feel so blessed to be given this new little bundle of joy and more importantly the chance to really enjoy a new baby. Although my labor and delivery was similar to Ella’s, the overall experience has been very different.
I didn’t realize just how different the experiences could be until the moment they laid him on my chest. Everyone tells you about the immediate connection you have and how you’re overcome with sheer joy and sadly we didn’t have that with Ella.
Looking back I think we were just so scared – about becoming parents, an unplanned pregnancy, a baby with special circumstances, etc – that we weren’t able to focus on the beauty of childbirth. They whisked her away to the NICU so fast that we barely had time to even hold her!
With Will there were no worries. For the most part, I didn’t have a pregnancy filled with 3D ultrasounds and stress tests. I didn’t spend 9 months wondering what people would think of my baby and the number of surgeries he’d require.
When they laid him on my chest – I was proud. Proud of myself, proud of our new little man and more importantly proud of the family we had built. I was overcome with emotion. We were lucky enough to get to just lay there with him. No doctors rushing in and out, no whisking away our baby – just us bonding with our little boy and no thoughts of anything else.
To no fault of her own, Ella was a very challenging baby – the cards were stacked against her. She was colicky and her cleft caused her to take in even more air. She cried for 6 straight hours every day. We had a million doctors appointments. I was doing it alone (Joe started a new job 6 days before she was born). We said numerous times that we weren’t sure if we’d be able to handle having more kids. Everyone reassured us that things would be just fine and that children typically are very different from one another and that the second one could be our “easy one.”
Even though Joe & I were convinced we weren’t capable of producing a calm and quiet child – it turns out, so far those people were right. Will has been amazing. He rarely cries, eats well, sleeps well – the model of a perfect baby. Don’t get me wrong, I’m appreciative (that’s an understatement) but I also feel like I’m somehow cheating on Ella.
At the time I thought maybe our experience with Ella was normal (I had just pushed out a watermelon with no drugs) but, now that I have something to compare it to, I feel like both Ella and I were cheated. I love her just the same and have even more respect for all the things she has gone through but I wish that we had that immediate, worry-free time with her. I wish that my maternity leave could have been anything but painful for both of us.
Speaking of Ella, she couldn’t be more proud of her baby brother. We have been pleasantly surprised by her reaction to him! She wants to hold him all the time and help in anyway that she can. Last week she wanted to take him to Show & Tell at daycare, so despite all the germs we obliged. She was so proud and beaming with joy, which made it all worth it for us!