This has been a big week for our Cleft Awareness Foundation and now that things are starting to settle back down I wanted to take a moment to look back on the positive that came from it all.

Currently we have a network of around 1,500 people built through Facebook. My goal is to offer news on a daily basis that for the most part includes: uplifting & inspirational stories, promotion of good causes, before/after photos, cleft resources, support, life conversation, etc. Thanks to New York Magazine, this past week took a different turn.

The magazine featured a contest where they asked designers, illustrators and cartoonists to give Lady Gaga a shocking new look that could top her recent meat dress. One artist, Tim Hensley, chose to draw her with a cleft lip to promote universal tolerance.

I have chose to not post the photo here, but when I initially saw it I was intrigued. I wanted to know more about the artist and why he chose to draw her in that manner. I assumed he had a cleft background and was an advocate for the cause.

I was hesitant to post the photo on the CA Facebook page, but felt it was important to get others feedback. Then the state of panic set in. Within 20 minutes there were 50+ comments and most were very angry. Some were even mad at me for sharing such an ignorant photo with a group that works so hard to move forward and change perceptions.

Since I was acting as a moderator I remained neutral and prayed that people knew I wasn’t endorsing the magazine, artist or photo, but was simply letting others know it existed. Some people demanded that I take it down, some people were positive and hoped it was created with the right reasons and just “missed the mark.”

After further examining the 100+ comments I found something very interesting. Almost ALL of the people who were born with clefts and chose to comment came across as strong, positive, tolerant, and dare I say, forgiving human beings.
I think that is the most amazing testament to the beautiful people, both inside and out, these cleft kids are!!

Many things transpired after that and it wasn’t all pretty, but in the end we were able to get a major magazine to issue an apology:
After consulting with the artist Tim Hensley we’ve decided to take down his drawing and he is donating his fee to a cleft palate charity. We offer our sincere apologies to the community.

Through the help of other organizations we were able to get some real media coverage in Atlanta! To view the news clip click here.

This whole ordeal has been amazing; to witness not only the power of social media, but more importantly what can be accomplished through uniting and taking a stand. I am proud to be a cleft mommy and to be surrounded by such strong, beautiful people.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”  – Gandhi

Note: I am excited to get back to sharing positive and exciting news via our Foundation and I would NEVER want a career in Public Relations! That being said, I am still trying to reach out to the artist in hopes of learning more about why this image was created. Stay tuned.

Everyone always tells us how funny Ella is and we usually say something like, “Yeah, she thinks she’s funny!” but the truth of the matter is – she is really, really funny. There are so many times I have to turn away when she is doing something naughty so that I don’t laugh and encourage her.

Let’s take today for example. This week is Spirit Week at daycare and today was crazy hat/hair day. Ella decided that she would partake in the hat portion, so we got dressed and of course had to take pictures. When I asked her to smile she began posing as if she had just walked off of the runway. I mean, yes I know those girls/posers that strike the same move whenever a camera appears, but that is not me – so where in the world is she learning this stuff. Ceases to amaze me.
(The first photo is definitely a product of “Naughty Aunty Merl.”)

Then tonight as we sat down to eat dinner she proceeded to tell her daddy that she didn’t like him, which was funny – but Joe didn’t seem to think so. I guess… I didn’t think it was so funny when she told me she was going to shop for a new mommy while I am gone traveling this week.

That dinner story really doesn’t compare to yesterdays lunch though. We had decided to sit down to eat a quick lunch and Joe made himself a hotdog. Since we were out of ketchup he settled for mustard, but he decorated it exactly the same as the hot dog on the bottle, complete with zig zags and all. As he brought it over to show Ella she was amazed and when he showed her the bottle of mustard she said in awe, “Oh my God!” I wish I had it on video because her face and voice was amazing!

Not only is Ella funny, but she also has an amazing memory. A few weeks ago she went to Grandma & Grandpa Stevenson’s on a Thursday afternoon after swimming lessons. This past Thursday when Ella got out of bed I asked if she was excited for swimming that day. Of course she said she was, but she followed it up with, “Grandma & Grandpa Bobs?” I tried to explain that she can’t go to Grandma & Grandpa’s every Thursday and in the middle of my sentence, before I could even finish – she looked at me and with a swirl of her pointer finger said, “Pack it up! Grandpa Bob pick me up.” Her tone of voice was as if she was saying, “Woman – grab my bags!”

When Ella came into this world I was overjoyed with excitement for this beautiful little girl, but at the same time felt a tad slighted by the uphill battle we would inevitably face.

For those that know me, you know I LOVE music and it has definitely helped to get me through some challenging times in life. From the day Ella was born I have sang her the same song every night before she goes to sleep. Initially it was something that I enjoyed and made me feel better, but now that Ella is getting older it’s become something that we both love. Every night after we read our stories and tuck all of her friends into bed she asks, “Baby song?”

She is referring to Baby Mine from Dumbo. I don’t remember watching this movie as a child (I have no memory), but I do know as an adult I love it and it’s pretty deep for a Disney film! 

I prefer this version (video unrelated) because in the word’s of JL, “that Alison sure can sing!”
The lyrics of the song really are absolutely perfect for Ella:
“If they knew sweet little you
They’d end up loving you too.”

Like me, Ella loves music too. She loves to sing and dance to almost anything. Lately she has started to sing along during our night time concerts! The first time it happened I could barely contain my laughter and continue to sing on. I mean, this isn’t a typical nursery song that 2 year olds sing along to. It is so adorable that I decided I had to get it on tape and share.

I REALLY can’t believe I am going to put my voice online, but Ella is so sweet it’s truly worth it.

Ella – always remember to “let those eyes sparkle and shine.” ♥ momma ♥

Let’s be clear – I am old and I know & can admit that, but I am terrified in growing older because that means Ella will also be older and that scares me for many reasons.

We have tried to raise Ella with a lot of encouragement and positive attitude and so far it seems to have worked. Every morning after I fix her hair I say in the most excited tone – “WOW! You are such a beautiful little girl. Mom and Dad are SO lucky to have you!” In response she either spins in a circle as if she is a twirling princess or she immediately runs to our full-length mirror where she peers at herself proudly and smiles.

A few days ago, in relation to my fears of Ella entering elementary school, a co-worker of mine said, “You are so strong & so is Ella, are you really worried?” Despite our efforts, the reality is – she is still a little girl, protected by her parents and kids can be mean.

I follow a lot of cleft related news, including a group on Facebook called Cleft Lip & Palate for Young Adults. The other day the post was:
What are the positive sides of having a cleft. What are some positive things that have come from you being born with a cleft lip and/or palate?

I was so sad to see some of the responses. Some highlights include:
“I’m not sure if anything positive has come from it for me.” – DR

“I just pretend to be strong… i’m not strong, i’m defensive and insecure.” – SR

After reading their responses I felt sad and hopeless. I would like to believe that with a strong influence from their parents these girls would have had more confidence & could see the positive side of things- but, in life there is never a guarantee and maybe this has nothing to do with their parents.

I never realized how biased parents can be until a small child shares their uncensored truth. In my mind, Ella’s lip and nose appear to be perfect – how could anyone detect something that was once a major defect? However there have been numerous times that small children will say, “What’s wrong with her lip? Why does her lip pull up like that?” I appreciate their honesty & in reality, her nose is smashed and stretched, her lip pulls up and the extra flap of skin on her lip hides her imperfect teeth.

As we struggle with speech development and many more surgeries, the reality of teasing becomes all to real. I can only pray that we are able to raise a strong & confident woman.

Parenting is a lot pressure.

I have heard that question a lot lately, in regards to my blog and the fact that I haven’t wrote anything since November 2010 – yes, I realize it’s 2011. I know I always say that I hate blogging, but I want you to know I have put a lot of thought into why it bothers me so much. Let me share a few reasons:
1. A blog is supposed to be a place where you can be open and honest and express your true thoughts and feelings.
Ahh, if it were only that easy. Trust me there are days that I wan’t to be brutally honest and say, “If you don’t like it, don’t read it” but the headache of dealing with those truths just isn’t worth it. So in the end, most of the time I overanalyze and edit based on what I think other people want to read vs. my real thoughts.
2. Due to the above, my blog is no longer witty and clever but has become nothing more than a journal – which was not my goal.

So – that all being said, I have decided to (DRUMROLL)….continue to blog! Ta da.
Despite the facts mentioned above – the most important thing to me is Ella and I started this blog so I can remember what a great kid I have and document all of the things she is doing. If that means I am just journaling, oh well – at least I will be able to look back to this point in her life and remember that she:

• loves to “backpack” ride
• chews gum like it’s going out of style
• asks for snacks and apple juice the second she wakes up
• follows suit with “Grandpa Bob” and cheers for the Packers every chance she gets. Go Pack Go!
• is growing up faster than I could have ever imagined