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Thankful For

November 5, 2013 by

With November being the month of Thanksgiving, I see a lot of people on Facebook posting what
they’re thankful for each day. In past years I’ve tried to partake but always fell short by missing too many days.

That doesn’t mean I’m not thankful for all the amazing things in my life. I could likely post something every day of the month but when I really look at it there’s one day in November that I’m especially thankful for.

November 26th. The start of my life. On that day we welcomed our beautiful little girl into the world. Sure I’d done many things before that, but none that could measure up to that experience.

Already almost five years ago, that day set the stage for the rest of our lives. We didn’t plan Ella, but she had plans for us. She pushed us to buy our first home, to get married, to have another baby (our second blessing), to move to a better school (our second home), etc.

She has shown us there is more to life & has taught us to be selfless. Sure, if we didn’t have kids we might have enjoyed many other experiences. Traveled the world, purchased nicer things, paid more bills – but who would provide us with daily entertainment like this?

She has allowed us to be a part of something bigger. While we wish she didn’t have to endure struggles due to her cleft, as founders of Cleft Awareness, we’ve built a cleft community and made many new friends we never anticipated.

In a few short days we’ll celebrate her fifth birthday. I can’t believe it’s been five years already! Those five years have been rewarding, but definitely not easy. I suppose that’s all a part of her larger than life personality. Besides, nothing in life worth doing is easy.

Picture 5

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Filed Under: being a mom, Kiddos

Jack of all Trades

September 30, 2013 by

Master of none.

Work, home, parenting, friendship, etc. – I’m juggling a lot of different roles, but none all that well. I feel like I’m pulled in so many directions that it’s a struggle to be great at any one role.

At work I’m responsible for solving all the problems. Just the other day we joked that my title should be CTO, Chief Troubleshooting Officer – and I think I do a pretty good job of it. While it may make my co-workers & clients lives better, it causes a lot of problems in the other aspects of my life.

Will spent all last week without diapers at daycare. L1208916_10100527134081466_1759146518_nuckily he has friends that were willing to share until I found the time to stock back up. Then they sent home a note that he had no extra clothes for those inconvenient times he might pee on himself (like today). Not to mention the fact that neither kiddo is fully prepared for the impending weather changes – no appropriately sized pants, long sleeves, boots or jacket. Let’s hope this summer-like weather lasts a bit longer so I have some time to find some fall attire.

As I’ve mentioned before, the house is full of projects but we’ve been so busy running each weekend that I haven’t even been able to keep up with the basics. Thank goodness I was able to find my motivation the other night and in return was able to finish all the laundry, clean the house, paint the remaining stairwell spindles, swap out the spare room bedding and put together our new barstools. While it seems like a lot of productivity, there is still so much to do.

This past weekend we were finally able to spend a weekend at home. Who knew home improvement projects were easier to do when at home? We were so productive! Not only did we paint the spare bath, spare bedroom and dining room, we also built a deck!

It wasn’t all good news though! Poor Will woke with a rash on Saturday morning. I assumed it was due to teething (his molars just popped through, making 10 teeth in that tiny little mouth already) so I gave him an oatmeal bath and hoped for the best. On Sunday it was worse so I took him into the doctor. After a lot of questions she determined that he has scarlet fever. So random! All I could think of was that episode of Little House on the Prairie (I’m sure there was one & whomever had it, died) but turns out it’s an infectious aftermath of strep and apparently it’s very rare for infants, since they don’t typically get strep. We started meds right away but I kept him home from daycare today just to be sure he wasn’t contagious.

Today felt good. It was nice to refocus on my most important role and spend a lot of quality time with my little man. Besides, he was able to practice his newly acquired skill of walking and I was able to get a few more projects (Ella’s room art, mowed the lawn, cleaned the house) handled while he napped :D

 

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Filed Under: being a mom, DIY, home improvement

Boggling Bravery

August 8, 2013 by
Ella went into surgery around 7:45 a.m. this morning and as I sit here patiently (ha!) waiting for the next few hours, I cannot get over how brave that little girl is. It’s honestly mind boggling.

For those of you who have ever experienced surgery, especially for little kids, it’s typical for one parent to accompany them into the OR as they are put under. We have always chose to not go in because we felt it would be easier for both the kiddo’s and quite honestly, easier on us. Regardless of that decision, it’s normal for you to walk with the team down to the OR and then pass off your precious bundles to the medical staff.

Even though we’ve let Ella go in alone in the past, I thought today might be different since she’s older now and more aware of the situation. When the children’s coordinator (which is genius might I add) came in, I asked if she would like either Joe or myself to go with her into surgery. She quickly replied that she wanted to go alone. I wasn’t surprised but I thought she might change her mind. As it became time to make the trek to the OR we all prepared to walk together and she promptly said she wanted to go alone. I explained that she could go into surgery by herself but we’d like to walk with her. She caved and let us all go with.

As we walked down she was pretty quiet so I thought she might be starting to second guess her decisions. When we got to the dreaded double doors she met her nurses and it was time for us to part ways. As I went to give her a hug I could have sworn she was going to freak out at the last minute and instead she pushed me away mid-hug and was ready to go!

While I’m so proud of her and impressed by her courage, I just can’t believe there wasn’t a second in her mind that she might have wanted some support from her parents. Joe says it’s because she doesn’t fully know what’s going on, but I completely disagree. We have talked about this surgery for the last 6 months. She knows in depth everything that’s going to happen, right down to the scalpel. Even IF she didn’t realize the extent of what was happening, she doesn’t know a single person in that terrifying room. As someone who’s never personally experienced surgery, the OR is intimidating space for me and I’m an adult.

I started this blog to document our lives and I hope when Ella is big enough to read this she will look back a this post and know that she is my hero. She is by far the bravest, most courageous little person I have ever met. She is going to do great things and conquer the world!
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Filed Under: being a mom, Cleft Awareness, Kiddos, raising kids

Surgery Sucks

August 7, 2013 by
Sorry for the pessimistic title, but it  really does. Surgery is the worst! While we successfully made it through Will’s surgery last week, it hasn’t changed my outlook on surgery as a whole.

Ella’s surgery is Thursday morning. Due to her cleft lip & palate, she’ll have lip & nose revision, palate fistula repair, dental work and ear tubes. Her surgeon estimates she’ll be under anesthesia for around 5 hours and recovery could take up to 2 weeks! We’ll get the call tomorrow night to inform us of what time we need to report to the hospital and when she needs to stop eating/drinking. It’s been such a long time since she’s undergone a major surgery, that I’m out of practice.

The bigger issue is that she’s now big enough to be aware of what’s going on, which means she asks a ton of questions. We are extremely open and honest with her so when she asks things like, “will they cut my face?” the answers become very challenging. I’m happy she’s talking about it and I think Will’s surgery has helped her to be better prepared, but it breaks my heart to know she’s so little and has to face surgeries like this for a large portion of her life.

When we went through her lip repair at 4 months we worried, but at that time she hadn’t had the opportunity to fully showcase her enormous personality and we were lucky that she bounced back quickly. By the time she was 10 months and undergoing her palate repair, we really worried that the surgery might change her personality. We worried that it might change who she was, it might dim her light. For a week after the surgery, she didn’t smile, she didn’t giggle and she was a defeated little girl.

I do not want to go through that ever again. That was the worst feeling in the world. Luckily her bright, shining star returned, but the thought of losing a piece of the child we love so much is terrifying. The risk of surgery is a very dangerous thing, but as a mother, watching your little one in pain during recovery is the most helpless feeling. If only we could trade places!
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Filed Under: being a mom, Cleft Awareness, Kiddos, parenting

Time Stand Still

August 6, 2013 by
Yesterday my baby turned 1. While it’s an amazing thing to watch your children grow – it was a tough day for me. I wish I could find a way to make time stand still. I love this age.

Will learns something new every day. He smiles, laughs and squeals all the time – just to get a bit of attention. He’s on the move, crawling everywhere – even up the steps (all the time)!
He still eats like a beast, but now it includes solids too! He loves pretty much everything, especially blueberries. He thinks it’s hilarious to throw his food on the floor whenever he feels like it. The dogs don’t seem to mind, but I’m not a huge fan of the ants he’s attracting as well.

I’m currently his favorite person on Earth. I wish that would last forever. He loves to play with me, tackle me, snuggle with me – really just anything that involves me. I’m sure I’ll want to pay great amounts of money for that attention in 12 years.

While his birthday was a bit sad, we had a great time at the zoo. The weather was beautiful and the animals were at their finest. We were able to see the chimps playing up close and personal, the sea lions preparing to be fed and the tiger bathing himself. While checking out the giraffes the zookeeper randomly chose us to go back to feed them. It was the coolest experience and both kiddo’s loved it. I knew they had long black tongues, but I did not know they were that soft. I was expecting something much more coarse!

After we finished the zoo, we returned home for some cake. I thought Will loved blueberries, but it stands no chance in comparison to cake. He ate every last bite and was so full of sugar that he was up til 10 p.m.
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Filed Under: being a mom, Kiddos, parenting, raising kids
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