I started this blog to make sure I wrote down all the funny things Ella did each day, but have been doing a bad job at that lately. I swear there is a story for every.single.day.

On Saturday Ella was in desperate need of a bath, so I filled it up and plopped her in. Since she is contained, I have been using bath time to be super productive. Ella’s room looked like a tornado had rolled through so I thought I would pick it up.

After she had been in the tub for quite some time she yelled, “Mom, I have to go potty.” So I went into the bathroom and as I was reaching in to get her she shoved a cup in my face and said, “Here – I pooped in the tub.” As I grabbed the cup and peered in I saw that it was filled with poop and water!
I shrieked, “Ella Marie Leschisin, what are you doing? That is very naughty. Why would you poop in the tub?” She replied, “I had to go potty mom, no big deal.”

I emptied the contents of the cup into the toilet and sat her down to finish her business. I then set out to determine exactly what had happened and just how gross it was.

Mom: Did you accidentally poop in the tub and scoop it up with the cup?
Ella: No, I poop in the cup and I got some on my hands (makes a yucky face while wrinkling her nose.)
Mom: We definitely need to wash your hands.
Ella: Mom I had to go potty so I pooped in the cup and a little came out. No big deal.

The kid literally sat on a tiny cup, pooped and as she was lifting it out of the water, some escaped. Are you kidding me? I could never make this shit (literally) up!

This cup that she pooped in, well it’s (was – it’s tossed now) small to say the least. I couldn’t be mad at her, I was impressed by her impeccable precision. I was laughing so hard because she looked at me as if I were dumb that I hadn’t thought of her solution sooner.

What a creative thinker!

No worries, this time I resisted the temptation to include the infamous David Bowie song – but only because I’m still not able to determine what the song is really all about. I will say that I did dig up my old post where I included music and I liked it. A lot.
Now that you have watched the fantastic Youtube video – let’s move on.
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Life in the Leschisin household has maybe slowed a bit, but that doesn’t mean that things aren’t constantly changing every day. For starters, I am able to officially refer to us as the Leschisin household since Joe & I tied the knot on September 17th. We were blessed with amazing weather and couldn’t have asked for a better day!

While the wedding is a major event in our lives, the changes that Ella has been going through are what proves to be more surprising and continues to amaze me every day. Where to even begin?

We attended Cleft Clinic on October 14th. Our mindset going into the appointment was that we would be scheduling another surgery to correct the pulling on her lip and work on reshaping her nose. Of course that’s not how the appointment really went. For the first time, our surgeon actually had an opinion and shared it and he prefers to not do surgery unless a medical necessity (speech plateaus, nasality, bone grafting, etc.) arises and he can piggyback on that. Since we have struggled with the topic a lot, I am good with not doing surgery anytime soon. However, I also think as her parents it’s our job to do what is best for Ella in the long run. If she continues to mention that she doesn’t like her lip & nose – we will think about a surgery before she starts school. For now it’s back to the waiting game.

In exciting news Ella’s Big Girl Check List continues to take no prisoners. We have conquered potty training, which means she not only gets to wear big girl princess undies, but is also the proud new owner of this {super sparkly & girly} bike. —————–>

And that’s not all folks – last night was her first night in a big girl bed. Yes I know you’re all thinking “What, she’s almost 3?”  For some reason my wild and crazy child has never tried to get out of her crib & I am not ashamed in the fact that I have delayed this day for as long as possible. As much as I thought it was going to be terrible, the transition has gone swell and at almost two nights in, I can’t complain.

Perhaps the most exciting and beneficial transition for Ella is in regards to her speech development. When Ella turns 3 in November, we will no longer be able to utilize the services provided by Birth to 3 and our case is turned over to the Madison School District. I have been super nervous about whether or not we could expect continued therapy and if so, at what level of consistency & quality. Today was the meeting to review Ella’s evaluation and much to my surprise it went fantastic.

After the therapist spent an hour with Ella they determined that while she is extremely intelligent and definitely doesn’t struggle with language and communication, she does struggle with speech development. Therefore, she qualifies to be one of 12 kids to take part in a Phonology Clinic. The clinic focuses on building the intelligibility of speech and emphasizes the accuracy of sound patterns to promote speech clarity. Ella would attend half the day for 4 days/week for 6 weeks. She then would have 6 weeks off where we would practice and continue at home and then 6 more weeks on. The cycles continue until she no longer needs the help or she starts kindergarten.

While this is definitely going to be a major transition for us and Ella – it’s something I am very excited for. It does seem a bit intense and I feel guilty for taking her out of daycare where she will most likely miss he friends and fun, but I strongly believe the consistency and focus will help us see some major improvements. Cross your fingers!

Today I received a text from my sister-in-law. It was a picture of my niece Paige and it looked like it hurt. She had fallen on the playground at school. She was battered, bumped and bruised. Paige was the first baby to enter my life, she made me an aunt (well her parents did but lets not get into that) and will always hold a special place in my heart. It broke my heart to see her in such pain.

At the same time, it also put things into perspective for me. When Ella was born we fretted about the inevitable surgeries she would face to repair her cleft and we worried about the scarring, both emotionally and physically. Taking a step back – those surgeries and scars may have happened even if she wasn’t born with a cleft (the scenario is very likely if you know Ella).

Kids will be kids. They run. They fall. They cry. They scar. It’s impossible to keep them safe all the time. As we contemplate another surgery I will think of today and remember that if it wasn’t this – it would be something else. One thing you can predict about kids, they will always be unpredictable.

I hope Paige doesn’t experience any long lasting scars from todays debacle. I hope she will return to school tomorrow and all of her friends will comfort her and she will know it’s okay to go back out and run again. Most likely she will fall again, but the important part is to get back up. Every. Single. Time.

If not, she will always be a beautiful little girl to me and I have a ballerina Barbie going out in the mail tomorrow as bribery Love you Paige!

This past weekend Joe and I went to Las Vegas for a few days to celebrate our bachelor/bachelorette parties with friends, so we left Ella with Grandma & Grandpa for a bit. Whenever we are away from her for even a day it becomes very apparent that she is growing up right before our eyes.

Tonights conversation on the way home from daycare is a perfect example. It went something like this:
(Saw a lawn ornament in someone’s yard by daycare)
Ella: why that not in my yard?
Mom: because you don’t live there?
E: why?
M: because you live with mommy & daddy.
E: I not want to live with mommy & daddy.
M: that’s not very nice. who will take care of you? who is going to feed you, bath you, change your diapers, etc?
E: Mac (our cat)
M: well we have a problem then because Mac can’t open the fridge.
E: I open the fridge all by myself.
M: you have a point. who will change your diapers?
E: I will.
M: who will make your meals?
E: I put chicken nuggets in the oven.
M: why don’t you want to live with mommy & daddy?
E: cause I not need you!
M: ouch

On November 26th Ella will be 3 years old.

When we found out we were expecting our first baby – a girl to be born with a cleft lip and palate, we were terrified and began to prepare for the worst. Then Ella came and she was amazing. She was so beautiful, resilient and stronger than we could ever imagine.

Our first surgery to repair her lip was easy, as easy as handing over your 4 month old can be, but we didn’t have any real issues with feeding or restraining her from touching her face. Our second surgery to repair her palate was pretty hard, but when looking at all the issues most cleft kids face, we felt blessed.

We didn’t have weight gain issues. No hearing loss. Speech for the most part, was on track. Learning was never an issue, she was too smart for her own good and she definitely didn’t have issues with projecting sound! We were defying all the things that most parents forewarn you about. How lucky!

Shortly after Ella was born, Joe’s aunt Bonnie was kind enough to have her friend Lori send us a letter about her daughter Myah’s journey. She too, was born with a cleft lip and palate and was really the only child/parent resource that we had at that time. She wrote about all of Myah’s surgeries and what they experienced and for the most she made me feel like everything was going to be fine. However, she also said that when Myah was 3 years old (middle photo) she started to say she didn’t like her “puffy lip.” I remember feeling terribly sad when I read that. How can a 3 year old know what vanity is? How can they be self-conscious at such a young age?

I haven’t seen that letter in over two years. Why would I need it? That would never happen to us. We defy odds. Ella is very confident. In fact, every morning after she is dressed she looks in the mirror, spins and says, “I bootiful.”

Until now. Tonight while putting Ella to bed I noticed she was pulling on her lip. I asked if something was bothering her and she replied, “It won’t come off.” I didn’t know what she meant so I asked once more. Again, she pulled on the extra flap of skin on her lip, an imperfection from her lip repair, and said “I don’t like it on my lip.”

Joe and I have been debating on when it’s the right time to have another surgery for quite some time, so I asked if she wanted mommy & daddy to fix it and she said, “Yeah. And my silly nose too.”

Worst. Feeling. Ever. I could have never been prepared for something like this. I couldn’t believe Lori’s story that Myah was noticing things at such a young age and yet, here we are.

Is Ella’s cleft noticeable? Yes, of course! It’s hard for Joe and I to see it, because we only see our beautiful little girl, but we know it’s more obvious for other non-biased parties.

On one hand this makes our surgery decision much easier, but on the other hand it all goes back to my theory that you can try to raise your kids the best you can, but parenting is hard and there are no guarantees!