As I mentioned, Grams took lots of pics from Ella’s stay this past week. Here are a few worth mentioning.

This Friday we have a doctor appointment with our surgeon – Dr. Shehadi. He is going to look at Ella’s roof of her mouth to determine how large the hole is and schedule our next surgery. I think it’s going to be relatively soon and am actually going to push for that. Even though the last surgery was very painful for all involved – I want to get it done and move forward with the summer. I am curious if he plans to do anything cosmetic during this surgery since her lip looks so great, so we will see. I think that her lip has started to pull up a bit as she has grown and there is an excess piece of skin that hangs a bit on her lip – but I am pretty sure that I am the only person who notices that at this point. I guess we will just wait and see – that’s always the motto.

In other news, I came across a family in northern Wisconsin via a Facebook group, who have a son that also has a cleft lip and palate. It’s nice to have people to talk to and especially when they are local and can relate to other aspects of your lives. Their son Owen just went through his first surgery this week and I think all is well so far. Looking at his pictures of post-surgery almost brought tears to my eyes. I forgot how overwhelming that feeling was. Seeing Ella for the first time was an unexpected set of emotions. I felt sad that I would no longer see the big “winged” smile, I felt scared that she was in so much pain and I felt happy that one surgery could change her life in so many ways. Most of all I felt grateful for Dr. Shehadi and my special little girl.

I realize I have made a few promises in the recent past that I am not fulfilling – but I have valid reasons:
1. In my last post I mentioned “To be continued…Ella’s Journey” however, I am not feeling like writing about that yet – so it remains in the to be continued status.
2. I also promised to post something once a week – and you will notice that I have not blogged since April 28 and since today is May 11 I missed a week but, that is because Joe and I were on a Vegas Vacation!!!!

That’s right, last week we traveled to Las Vegas – no, not to get married – but to visit our friends Becky & Jess and Josh & Kira. We left this past Wednesday (May 5th) and were gone until Sunday (May 9th). The trip was good but it was very challenging for me to spend that much time away from Ella, especially since Sunday was Mother’s Day….without my baby.
Ella spent her time with Grandma and Grandpa Stevenson and I can’t wait to see the pictures – as soon as Grandma learns how to put them onto Facebook Stay tuned.

Before we left for vacation we went to the park down the street and I snapped a lot of good pictures and captured some great video. Ella went down the big girl slide all by herself, which she initially thought was fantastic until midway down where her face turned to fear. I also was able to capture this video – which may be my favorite to date. This video helped me get through our vacation away from her. Love it and that child!

So… I am still getting the hang of this blog thing and to be honest, I don’t think I am very good at it and I’m not sure if I ever will be – but I will keep trying. I have to force myself to not be so analytical and just write. I want to write how I speak. My goal is to be witty and entertaining and…. ME. Inevitably I want to write like your Aunty Merl, cause her blog is great and I can hear her speaking when I read it.

Anyways, it’s no secret that I have a horrible memory and that is why I initially started keeping a journal and scrapbooking our life memories. We do so many great things and I can’t imagine not remembering all of those big and small events. I started journaling during my pregnancy with Ella. I can honestly say it was the first time I had EVER kept a journal – (I wasn’t your average teenage girl). Soo many funny and ironic things happened when I was pregnant and when I would tell the stories people would ask if I had been writing it all down to share with Ella someday. Alas, the journal began.

Not only did I write about the funny stories that had occurred but I also wrote about how I was feeling, both emotionally and physically – I gained 40 lbs. while prego! Please see exhibit A —->

Once Ella was born, making the time to write – in between a colicky baby, pumping to breastfeed, not eating…or sleeping, doctors appointments, etc – was MUCH more difficult. My last journal entry was right before I started this blog – so I filled almost 2 years worth of handwritten entries (I am proud). I then decided to start this blog in place of journaling – however I have since decided that I will probably still write, at least once a month. I think/hope someday having my handwritten letters to you will mean something – they better cause it’s hurt my hand to write that much, what did we do without computers before?

Having a bad memory was only part of the reason I started to journal/blog/scrapbook. When we first found out we were unexpectedly expecting we were nervous, scared and unsure of our impending future. Then we had our first ultrasound – which changed EVERYTHING. Even at 22 weeks pregnant, the doctors were able to see that Ella had a cleft lip. After further tests we found out that she had a cleft lip AND palate. The journal allowed me the space to express how I was really feeling when it wasn’t acceptable to share my thoughts with others. It was okay to write about how we were (unmarried) parents with no idea on how to raise a child, or scared for peoples reactions to our daughter, or how nervous I was about sending my baby into surgery, etc.

To be continued……Ella’s Journey

The weather is starting to turn in our direction and I think Spring is finally here! I almost don’t want to talk about how excited I am because it will probably snow tomorrow.
We are really enjoying our extra time outside. You love the warm weather and insist on going for walks every day. Your red wagon sits right outside the garage door so every time we get out of the car to go in the house you basically dive out of our arms to get in. We usually oblige you. Of course Midge is very happy to go on walks, Narley on the other hand is forced. He may resist so much because you are the one who holds his (retractable) leash and most of the time you are tugging on him or you decide to just let go and the leash flies back at him.
Tonight when I picked you up from daycare you and I went down the big slide a few times on the playground and you loved it! We hope to get your swing set all set up in the backyard soon so that you can swing and go down the slide to your hearts delight.
Here are a few snaps from our time outside yesterday.

At the end of this long day I decided to check through my personal email, where I discovered an email about, “How does your toddler grab your attention?” Since Ella almost drowned yesterday and decided to make today almost as unbearable with her temper tantrums, I decided it would be a good idea to read on, maybe it would offer me some tips on how to handle this “phase”- fingers crossed.

After reading a few articles it all boils down to this, she’s moving to grandma and grandpas! Just kidding. In all seriousness, everything talks about frustration and the importance of me remaining calm. So Ella – if you are reading….. I have a deal for you – I will work on my patience level and you work on cutting me some slack once in a while. If you cooperate, I will continue to feed you
Love Mommy