Mama Bird

Growing up in an unincorporated town, I always hoped I could someday claim that I was a world traveler and while I have been up, up & away quite a lot – it seems my claim would have to be more of a work traveler than world.

If I sat down to make a list, I’ve probably “visited” the majority of the United States. Heck in the last month I’ve been to Seattle, Orlando, San Fran and their surrounding areas. Tomorrow I’m off to Phoenix for the remainder of the week. I can rattle off every work trip I’ve taken and I’d need at least all my fingers and toes to keep track, yet I couldn’t tell you the last time I took a vacation and I’d be lucky if the list filled my hands.

When we got married we opted to try for a baby and if we were lucky enough to succeed, our Costa Rican honeymoon would be delayed. A year and a half later, we are the proud parents to a beautiful baby boy and I’ve seen no sign of the sun, sand or a screwdriver since!

Mark my words, I will put my passport to good use – even if it means I travel alone. Before springtime I will be kicked back on a beach, sipping a margarita and zipping through the rainforest. Until then, I guess the warmth of the Arizona sun will do.

On this Valentine’s night it only seems fitting to post a tribute to the man who has changed my life. My best friend. My soul mate. The father of my children. The love of my life. My husband.

Growing up it was the norm to see the woman/mom doing all the work related to the home and raising children. Dinner, laundry, cleaning, diapers, bath time, doctor appointments – all handled by good ‘ole mom. The man went to work, made the money and kicked his feet up when dinner was set. My whole life I watched this and thought, “no way!” No way was I ever going to let my mate get away with not contributing towards something he was 50% responsible for.

Now that I’m married I am happy to say I have realized this dream. I feel very lucky to have found a man who helps me in every sense of the word. Making dinner, picking up the house, dropping off the kids, sewing buttons – he does it all. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always perfect and in times that I’m frustrated my mom is quick to remind me that Joe does way more than my father ever did for her.

They say a girl looks for characteristics of her father when choosing a husband, and while there are so many things I value about my father, I have very different expectations when it comes to being an equal partner. Times have changed and I set high expectations for Joe and I think he does the same for me. We aren’t allowed to each give 50%. We give 100% of who we are, every single day – to our relationship, to our kids, to our home, to the life we are building together.

Happy Valentine’s Day to the one I love! Thank you for all you do for our family – you don’t know how much I appreciate it. I can’t imagine spending the simple ordinary days with anyone else.

Love it or hate it, technology has become the way of life. Like most things, it’s not perfect but for the most part I personally feel it’s bettered my life and am grateful for all the ways it’s help me stay connected and build relationships.

I wrote this post this morning, before I was called by daycare to inform me Will would need to be picked up. I’ve since been at the doctors office for 3 hours and counting. I guess it’s ironic that the chain of events seem to support everything I was writing in the first place–as parents we do whatever it takes to make sure our babies are happy & healthy and while its hard to take a step back, it’s also important to remember it can always be worse. After chest X-rays, nebulizers and labored breathing-it looks like the common cold, that was costing me sleep – has turned to pneumonia and RSV & likely earned us a hospital stay.
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The last two nights have been miserable. Poor little Will has been sick, coughing nonstop and so congested he can barely breath. His chest rattles all day long and his sleep schedule is no more. Our house is functioning on zero sleep and just trying to survive without killing each other. This morning as I was up trying to get Ella to speech by 7:30 a.m. I thought, man this sucks!

Will is never hard. He’s always happy, eats like a champ and sleeps for 12 hours straight. It’s not sucky. On the other hand, when Ella was a baby it was hard & sucky! I’m not sure if all of our struggles were due to her cleft lip & palate or if it was because she is a pistol, but nonetheless it wasn’t easy. On top of surgeries, she cried all day long and hated sleeping.

As first time parents we were so overwhelmed that other challenging things most parents experience went unnoticed. If she had a cough, it was no big deal. Dry skin, constipation, diaper choice? Who cares! We were just lucky she was alive.

A friend of mine has a child born with spina bifida and while a cleft is not nearly as serious, it was nice to have a mom who could relate to raising a child who wasn’t “normal.” We used to share stories of “other” parents ridiculous complaints and laugh. One day a woman, we’ll call her Dorothy, went on and on about her child’s dry skin and how embarrassing it was to take them out in public. Embarrassing in public? I wanted to say, “imagine the stares at a child with a gaping hole in their face or one in a wheelchair!”

I tried to remind myself that we all have our own problems and if dry skin was the worst thing that happened to Dorothy, it just might seem terrible but regardless, choose your audience wisely.

And yet here I am, guilty as charged! A parent to a semi-normal (I’m convinced there is no such thing as normal) child, complaining and feeling sorry for myself because for two nights I haven’t gotten any sleep because he’s sick. I have had worse, I’ve dealt with more but because my current reality is much easier, these past two days seem like a big deal.

The fact is-no matter what your circumstances are-every parent wants their baby to be happy & healthy and when things go wrong, no matter how serious-it’s a big deal. We want things to be perfect, but that’s not life. At the end of the day, all you can do is what you think is best!

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